Friday, November 5, 2010

Before there was me

Facebook is an interesting animal.  Did you know there are enough people getting divorced over affairs and actions that started with Facebook that a percentage can be applied to that reason?  Since the Facebook explosion there's a term I've heard 'retrosex' in the US and 'retroshag' in the UK, both meaning: A hookup or other episode of sex (such as the start of a new involvement) between people who dated or hooked up way back when, lost contact with each other for years, and became reacquainted according to Urban Dictionary. 

I find that fascinating.  Online social networking is changing the way marriages end!  How stupid is that?  Anyway,  I was thinking about that because of a reaction I had to something on said social site the other day.

I found an old friend of mine from my community college theatre days who is also a friend of Scott's, obviously, because we were all in the first show I did there.  I think I'm the one who located her on FB and was happy to catch up and hear about her husband and son.  I liked her enormously then and I like her enormously now.  If she and her family came to Austin they would be welcome at my home and at my dinner table.  Hell, I'd cook a crown of lamb I'd be so glad to see them! 

But, I forget that she and Scott dated before he met me,  they'd already gone on to see other people by the time I came on the scene.  And they stayed friends, she came to our wedding and was truly happy that we'd gotten married.  She and another mutual friend went together on a really nice gift for us that I actually used. 

There's no weirdness or competition or anything like that.  I don't think there's anything unrequited between them, that would have reared it's ugly head in my household a while back.  Nobody's unhappy, nobody's leaving anybody, nothing like that. 

Our friend made a comment that indicated she was having a day that was not the exactly the bee's knees, it was probably more like the bee's butt.  I told her to give life some lipstick and tell it to kiss her ass.  She responded she was trying.

Scott commented "Quack".  That's all, just 'quack'. She responded with 'Scott. :) :) :)'.  It was really a very sweet little exchange between them. And, an obvious private joke that I was not privy to, which was odd for me. 

I've been with Scott my entire adult life, which is admirable or sad depending on how you look at it.  This also means he's the only one I've had an adult relationship with, again admirable or sad based on your perspective.  And I forget that he had a number of relationships before marrying me.  He's been married before, he was seeing a woman when he met me that he was considering moving in with and a bunch in between. 

Seeing the memory between the two of them, well, it didn't make me jealous, that's not the word.  It was like a little *ting*, that reminded me they'd been together at one time. A little hurtful?  Yeah, but I don't begrudge anyone any nice memories. 

I'm sure Scott would feel the same way if I found my old boyfriend Kevin and said "Well, I don't know, is there going to have to be legal action taken?". 

I've been thinking about it because it's a feeling I've never had before.  I'm not finding it distressing or troubling, I'm finding myself unable to identify it.  Excluded, is the closest I can get to putting my finger on it, but even that isn't right.  And, honestly?  It doesn't really matter because I love them both. 

And life goes on, dishes get dirty and my children have strewn crap to the horizon and back so I need to let this go and move my laundry around. 

Amanda's beauty tip of the day:  It can be very beneficial to sleep with a humidifier in your room in the drier months, both for your skin and your sinuses. 

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