Now that the weather in Texas has gotten over the 33 degrees F mark, I'm able to feel my fingers to type again.
I'm going to touch on the subject of a big deal that I'm hoping will happen this fall.
I've been talking about going to culinary school for years, as many people know. It's really starting to look like that can happen for me in September. In summer of 2012 there will still be the question of having someone watch Zoe and Will during the day, but those plans won't even need to be made until next February.
My parents have made the very generous offer to help out with the financing for the 15 month course of study.
One of the questions I'm asked is what I'm going to do once I've completed school. The honest answer is: I don't know yet.
While they were visiting my mom asked me what I thought I wanted to do once I was done with school. I stammered out a vague answer.
"You know sweetie, maybe you just want to learn to be a better cook. There's nothing wrong with that." she said to me.
I took a breath and told my mom I'm trying to follow my bliss. I want to cook. I don't know if I want to do it professionally or if I'll rent myself out for small parties or work for a caterer. I may get into a line kitchen and love it. I may take the leap to apply for a business loan and open up a trailer serving Elvis food.
I don't know.
When I'm painting and the kids look at what I'm doing, they'll ask what comes next. I always answer: I don't know, the painting has to talk to me.
Once I'm done with my classes, I'll wait for the world to talk to me.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with an excellent friend about the fact that I really want to start in the fall. I it was an exciting but frightening proposition.
"Are you scared it's going to be hard?" she asked me.
"No, I know it will be hard sometimes. I'm not afraid to work hard. I'm afraid I'm going to fail." That answer popped out of my mouth before I'd even completed the thought.
But it's the God's honest truth, I'm afraid I'll fail. I'm afraid I'll get everything wrong, have to remake my cream of mushroom and pea soups a number of times before I receive chef's approval on flavor and texture.
I also know I'm a good cook, I'm good at creating things people like to eat. I should do very well.
I'll just wait and see what the world tells me.
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: If you are having static-y flyaway hair, rub a little lotion on your hands and run them over your hair, it will at least lie down.