First, the death of Robin Williams saddened me. I love stand up comedy and he was one of my favorites. He could make me laugh until I cried.
When I learned that he had been struggling with depression and anxiety for years I said to The Husband, "No wonder he did drugs for so long." I've suffered from depression myself. If that had been coupled with a diagnosis of Parkinson's, I can't say I wouldn't take the same way out. My heart breaks for his daughter, Zelda, who dropped out of social media due to the nasty messages she was getting.
Second, I completed my first full week at the new job. I had one frustrating day where the language barrier really got in the way. The day after that was much better and by Friday the Korean man who come in the afternoon, who could be anywhere between 70 and 112, thanked me for my hard work. I've eaten most of what's been served. Some of the offerings I skipped, but I will try everything at some point.
Now, on to the contemplation of life I've been doing. The question I've been asking myself is: What kind of life do I want? What kind of person do I want to be?
The word I keep returning to is: clean.
I'd like to have a clean house, a clean approach to challenges, a clean way of living.
My friend Helen will now joke "Oh, do you want an authentic and toxic free life?" referring to someone she and I knew years ago who essentially told me to fuck off when I sent her a friend request on Facebook. The authentic toxic free thing was her last statement. Helen now uses it as a joke to tell me that I could be the kind of person who holds grudges over something insignificant that happened 22 years ago, which in and of itself, is inauthentic and toxic. I wrote about it in my book.
(Go buy my book! It's only $1.99! Red Lipstick and How It Saved My Life: My journal from the year I was crazy)
Living clean is going to take effort on my part. Finding small ways to start and doing just that is the path to take. Telling myself I'm going to start a whole, new way of life starting right NOW is only setting myself up for failure.
I'm going to start with drinking water and doing the dishes.
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: My friend Jone sells a line of skin care that had yielded dramatic results for a lot of people. Get in touch with her via Facebook here: Hi Jone!