Right, the job wasn't for me. I quit in shame knowing it was the right thing for all involved.
Now, there's the fallout where I have to deal with all the crap I'm trying to put myself through. I'm seriously doubting my ability/knowledge/whatever you want to call it. I'm starting to tell myself that culinary school was an indulgence where I probably could have just watched a lot of Food Network or worked my way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking a la Julie and Julia.
I'm scared to put ANY applications in, ANYWHERE. I'm having to remind myself that applying to another cupcake bakery is appropriate. I like to do it and I have experience. The owner of my externship site will give me a good reference.
If that doesn't play out, I may fall back on my retail experience to find something part time. Part time is what I need to be doing right now. Yes, it causes an issue with finding something that will let me bring in about $500 a month.
I'm also fighting off panic attacks about where we'll be in ten years. Retirement! Paying off the house! Oh my god!
I'm dealing with being very frightened. I'm forty-one and going into a third career with very limited experience. It would be a lot easier to just stay home.
I'm not feeling good today so I'll just tell you that being clean can make you feel better. I think I'll go do that now.