My education is continuing on track. I'm maintaining a very nice GPA and I'm enjoying the actual cooking.
My class started with 16 students and we're down to 10. Of these ten I'm the oldest. Next youngest is a woman who is 30. Then it drops down to 25 with the youngest being 18 or 19. This makes me old enough to be the mother of the majority of these guys.
8 of the students have cliqued together in high school fashion. The self-appointed leader of this group is a young woman, 15 years my junior, who has discovered she really likes giving me grief. If I'm at a task that she feels I'm not doing correctly, she'll step in and take over. I've fielded snotty comments from her about why I'm not working events held at our school, which are followed up by the words "Oh yeah, you have CHILDREN."
My classmates have also decided that they're not going to prepare for class by doing the assigned reading. Thursday, my class was given a lecture about preparation and how it's not acceptable for me to be the only one doing homework. (No, that's not conceit on my part, our instructor actually said that.) Then she piled a bunch of homework on us, including upping the word count on an essay that's due Monday from 200 words to 1000 words with two works cited. I'm anticipating more pop quizzes coming up.
I'm in class with a bunch of kids who aren't performing and have closed themselves up in a little group. Since I'm not the leader's friend and these people are still in the Oh-my-god-don't-anger-the-popular-girl mindset, I don't get very much support from my classmates. I'm currently teamed up with a couple of guys who, when our instructor asks why something was done a certain way, will simply stare at her with their mouths open.
Thursday, after our lecture from the professor, the popular girl felt it was appropriate to tell me "No. I'm going to wait here." after I told her I would bring her a piece of equipment when my team was done using it. I asked politely five times and she kept saying no. She only left because our instructor was going to demonstrate something. As we walked over she was going on about how I spoke to her, I'm assuming because I wasn't listening.
I turned to her and said "Okay fine. Your supervision is not needed. Please stop offering it." This made her wave her arms around and shout about how she didn't need this from me today.
My class is currently a day behind our syllabus. We've skipped things in the past because we're not keeping up with what we're supposed to be doing. I'm not getting the most out of this program.
I could have gone back to work and taken some pressure off instead of taking out a student loan, putting us into yet more debt. I've secured my externship position. I've gotten started on the 400 hours I need to complete by March. Between those hours and classes I'm up at 5 in the morning 6 days a week, plus I'm doing the homework. But, my classmates have decided they don't need to do that. This fucks me up.
I'm not going to cook for any visiting VIPs with this bunch. Classes are asked to prepare meals based on the performance of the whole class. These guys can barely cook enough for our lunch break and rarely on time. We regularly miss our 15 minutes for family meal because we're behind, not broken down, not cleaned up. I've started just skipping the snack to get ahead on my assigned cleaning task because I'm sick of having to stay 20 minutes longer to finish up cleaning.
I'm having all those thoughts one has when a person younger than you has decided you're an idiot, comparing what I was doing with my life to what they're doing with theirs. When I was 25 I'd been married for 6 years and had gotten Scott through 2 years of community college and 2 years of undergraduate school as the sole income earner. I kept us in health insurance and Pasta-Roni while my parents helped with school fees and books. We were a year into graduate school with 2 to go and we got through all of it with no student loans.
I've moved from one state to another with a 2 month old baby. I've moved from one country to another with a 4 year old and a 7 month old. I was in labor with my daughter for 22 hours.
I've already had 2 careers, this is going to be my third. I sold new homes deep in the recession of the early 1990's and I was nominated for awards in the industry. I was Sales Associate of the year in 1992 at my company. I was a manager with Barnes and Noble, dealing with the nut-jobs who came in on Friday nights and a wacky store manager who would close herself up in her office during her shift.
I can rock this program and I am rocking it as best I can with the group I'm stuck with.
I've scheduled a meeting with my instructor after class on Monday, which may end up being a vent session on my part, but I really need some advice on what I can do differently to get the most bang for my buck. Maybe nothing, maybe sit in on other classes when I can or maybe I need to transfer to another class that has a higher level of performance.
As of right now, I'm frustrated. I want to learn to cook. I want to learn as much as I can and I feel like I'm being short changed right now.
I anticipate tears at my meeting on Monday because I'm a crier. *sigh*
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: putting a little white eyeliner on the inside corners of your eyes will brighten them up, making you look a little more awake.