Thursday, April 21, 2011

Do I get health insurance for this?

Being a parent is difficult.  All parents agree on this fact.  Attachment parents, seat-of-their-pants parents, parents who refuse to discipline because it will undermine the child's self-esteem, parents who make their children apologize to those they've been rude to, we all have our own ways of doing things but it's difficult.

Some days are easier than others and some days are downright delightful.  But, there are days when your child or children are pushing every button they've sewed on to you.  They shout, need to have things repeated several times and still won't respond.  Or, they're just wearing on your nerves for no reason at all.  They could be being themselves and today it's getting under the skin of your scalp, making you grit your teeth.

My son shouts when he speaks.  He's just a loud person, he comes from loud people.  Many days I'm able to deal with this fine.  Other days, it makes me twitch and say 'Stop shouting.  Stop shouting.  Stop shouting.  Stop shouting I'm sitting right here. Stop shouting.'  Then he'll get frustrated that I'm not looking at what he wants me to look at and he'll run over to grab my face.  This drives me insane.  He stands too close to the television even after being told eight thousand times a day 'Back up please.  Back up.  BACK UP!  Will you back up from that TV!'. 

Zoe comes home from school and starts in with her "I'm being a good girl, aren't I mom?"  and screaming her brother's name when he won't do what she says.  She'll offer to do stuff when her brother is being difficult just to rub him the wrong way. 

I'll tell them "One hour and then we're going to do some chores before bath time.  Guys, 30 minutes and it's time for chores. Okay, 5 more minutes and we're all going to pick up."  then I'll be met with screaming, gnashing of teeth, tearing of hair and loud exclamations of exhaustion.  Then I have to make threats to remove various electronic entertainment media from the house for a period of time or dock their allowance to get them to pick up shoes and take dishes to the kitchen. 

They take my stuff, leave it outside and don't remember it's outside until I wonder where it is two days later.  By then it's too late for me to do anything but cry.

They'll ask me questions then not wait for me to be done with my answer before starting to say "That's not fair!" and other general objections to my judgment.  I try to say "Listen.  Listen, you have to listen."  but mostly I say 'Oh, I love you too much to argue about it.'  which drives THEM up the wall.  This amuses me endlessly. 

I'm sure my kids will be adults telling their friends "My mom used to say 'I love you too much to argue' which meant the conversation was over and she was DONE talking to you."  or about my 'This involves me how?' questions.  I also say 'I've already said no.  You continuing to ask me isn't going to change my answer and is just going to make me angry' and 'It's not what you want? Okay, give it to me I'll throw it away.'.

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit this, but the fact that I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve that drive them nuts the same way they drive me nuts is pretty funny. 

It makes my difficult job a little easier.

Amanda's beauty tip of the day:  With the weather getting hotter, up your water intake.  A LOT. 


Cyndee said...

Sadly, there is no health insurance for your topic. But survival rate is VERY high.

Beckett Gladney said...

Holy crap you've been secretly listening to the conversations in my house! AAAGGHHH! My secret life is revealed!! yeah, like that.

Leashya said...

If the country was more like I hope it can be, your health care would be covered! Your honesty would be handsomely rewarded as well. ;-)