February 20th I was standing in the garage looking at a small pile of plastic storage containers and boxes of kitchen things I'd assembled over the last week. I was getting ready to load them into my car because I was moving.
Not the entire family. Just me. I was the only one moving.
The Husband was no longer The Husband. He was now the my kids' dad and my soon-to-be ex.
I was getting divorced. We had done this before, but I hadn't moved out and while paperwork had been filed, it hadn't been signed or finalized.
Our attempts to patch things up for the sake of our kids hadn't been successful. In fact, they'd been so unsuccessful the two of us had gotten into a physical fight. All that frustration and anger and hurt had finally boiled over and we'd attacked each other trying to hurt the other one. We'd yelled and screamed and cried and smacked. Neither of us felt any better.
That same week we decided that we needed to separate. Our relationship was unhealthy. Unhealthy was an understatement. I didn't think there was a word to adequately describe what was now between us.
I had stated that if I moved out, it would disrupt the children's day to day the least. They were used to me being gone in the early mornings and their dad getting them off to school. I would still be with them in the afternoons once I was off work.
I was leaning heavily on my parents financially. I was unable to express the amount of gratitude for their support. Without them I'd be renting a room with a shared bathroom. I wouldn't be able to have the kids come visit me. I'd have no privacy. They'd agreed to help me while I got my feet under me.
There wasn't a big rush for me to relocate. We didn't hate each other. We were getting along fine, but it was uncomfortable and it was high time for me to leave.
We'd talked with the kids, a surreal experience since our son had guessed what was going on. 9 years old and he knew things weren't good between his parents. This wasn't good for them. This was no kind of example. This was the right thing to do for everyone.
I picked up the first box and got ready to start my new life.