Well, the pimple on my psyche known as my midlife issues burst all over my insides sometime between yesterday and today.
Wow, but this really sucks. It sucks because I can't really put into words what it is that I'm feeling/thinking/experiencing. I can just say that it sucks.
Whatever this feeling is (you know that feeling when you taste something and think "What is that flavor?" I'm having that same sensation dealing with this amalgam of emotions) it's really not pleasant. I know I'm supposed to be getting ready to wrap myself up in purple and kick people in their shins but I don't have any clue where to start with that.
I think this all came about after I hung out with some classmates from school a couple of weekends ago. As much as I enjoyed myself and as much as I laughed while spending time just doing nothing in my friend's apartment with three of her friends, all significantly younger than me, I had the thought in the back of head 'hmmm, I've done this. I've done this a lot. This isn't my life anymore.". Not a good or bad thing, it's just a fact.
I've been dwelling on stuff like: I can remember seeing the news clips about Nixon and his possible impeachment. I have vivid memories of seeing photographs of John Lennon on television with the announcement that he'd been shot. I can recall when there was no cable and no VCRs. If you wanted to watch something you had to be home. If you wanted to see a movie you had to see it in the theater or you were shit out of luck.
And I'm going to tell these stories to my grandchildren, watch them oo and ahh at my stories about the old days.
To top this all off, Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home" came on the classic rock station I was listening to. See? I was listening to a CLASSIC ROCK station! Shit.
If anyone has any words of wisdom for me in regards to getting through this intact, please drop me a line.
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: The sun is coming out! Wear your sunscreen! Find a foundation with a decent SPF and wear it!