Welp, the job didn't work out. I didn't have the right skill set to complete the tasks in a satisfactory manner. I just didn't. Wasn't a good fit. I left voluntarily after three days in the store where I would be working. I was very aware that I wasn't the person for that particular job.
Then there's the fact that the schedule was tossing my home life into a state of extreme disarray. Again, it wasn't a good fit for me or the bakery that needs a baker.
I'm surprisingly not beating myself up about it. It doesn't mean I'm a failure. It doesn't mean I'm unemployable. It just means I wasn't right for THAT job. I'm good at lots of other things.
I tried. I gave it my best shot and that's all I can ask of myself.
I am, however, trying to beat myself up for going to culinary school in the first place. I'm done with school, I've got my certificate and now I'm feeling an obligation to DO something with it.
Here's what's going on in my head: Okay, I went to culinary school. And, yes, I did well. But I didn't really learn anything that I couldn't have learned off Food Network. I just went to say I went and impress people with how sophisticated I am. It doesn't make me qualified to actually have a job. Scott and I are going to end up living in some crappy studio apartment in 20 years, living on social security and eating cat food. I'll prep myself for that now. It's my destiny! Beans and rice and my kids giving me money! But with my parenting ability they'll probably be living with us, so at least I'll have someone coming in and out to make sure I'm not dead.
Etc. etc. etc.
I'm having to make a concerted effort to tell myself that I dreamed of DREAMED of going to culinary school. And I went. I went. I graduated with a 4.3 on a 5.0 scale. I learned a LOT. I really did.
So what if I end up at Barnes and Noble or Target or checking at a grocery store? It's perfectly okay. I'll cook for my family and friends. Giving people the gift of a good meal isn't anything to be ashamed of.
Right now, I have the luxury of making this choice based on the needs of my family and my own well being. I have a couple places in mind to submit applications including a cupcake shop in a town north of me. I'm also going to apply at a smoke shop that's hiring for shits and giggles. Scott says I need to go in with a Bettie Page haircut and a push up bra to be a shoo in.
I'm going to spend these upcoming days getting ready for my parents' visit next week. I'll pop in a couple of applications and see what happens.
And, Amy, if you are reading this. I'd still love to come work for you. If you want me to stop bugging you, give me a job already! You know you love me as much as I love you! C'mon! You know you want to! Love you Amy!
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: Coconut oil can be used to moisturize both your skin and your hair. Keep it in the shower so it's lovely and warm before you rub it on.
Sometimes, you have to give life some lipstick and tell it to kiss your ass.
1 comment:
Just be sure to do something multiple times a week that uses the fundamental skills you learned and practiced so hard. Chop a bunch of onions to package and freeze or dry for future recipes. De-bone a roasting chicken. Get a bulk lamb (inexpensive from someone local) and have them deliver it so you can dress it, then freeze it for future meals.
For the next fund-raising fair for Z or W, put on a demonstration that finishes with something you can give people in exchange for contributions. Show off - by going through school the things you can do will awe people who have to very carefully slice their tomatoes with a not-quite-so-sharp knife. Heck, just sharpening your neighbors knives for a few bucks would probably make you a local star.
You put a lot of yourself into this, don't lose it by failing to use it - then you'll be prepared when something DOES come along (and it will).
hugs!
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