I had a bunch of stress build up over the last few days. Trying to get the house really cleaned so we have a basis to start keeping it up, an attempt to get the rest of the family used to their new role when I start classes next month, which scares me as much as starting school itself. I'm scared about Will starting elementary school, worrying about the paperwork that hasn't been completed. I hate looking out at our dead and horrible backyard with the falling down swing set and piles o' poo.
I have my period and I'm dealing with the fact that I just turned forty, my husband is fifty and all the new suitcases that came with those milestones.
You know when you get a build up of anxiety and sometimes you look for something to blame it on? I blame it on myself and end up wallowing around in self-loathing. This leads to bad choices to seek out things to poke myself with. I'll save you the details of this particular dance I did this morning and yesterday.
This all finally popped like a zit and I had a huge, unsatisfying cry this morning.
Now, I must ask a question. Is it narcissistic of me to toss myself my own birthday party a month after the fact? Is that a pathetic grab for attention or a normal, healthy thing to do? To want to celebrate and invite friends who live here close to me that didn't get to come to the birthday dinner in California?
I should just say to hell with it shouldn't I?
Amanda's beauty tip of the day: Grey hair has a different texture, what you think is frizzies may be that those hairs have gone to the silver side and need to be tamed with a flat iron.
Sometimes, you have to give life some lipstick and tell it to kiss your ass.
4 comments:
If you want to have a party, do it! I had Max 3 weeks before my 40th, and ended up doing nothing for it. I took myself out, alone, for a steak dinner on my birthday. It sucked. It still seems sad to me that I didn't celebrate that milestone.
Do it! We (your friends) want to celebrate you and your birthday just as much as you do.
Yes! Say to hell with it! I don't think it is narcissistic or attention seeking. Even if it were we are all feeling those needs sometimes. I say it is normal and healthy and you should go for it!
Happy late birthday!
Have a party whenever you want, birthday or just a "let's all get together for a party" party.
Studies show that social connections provide people with the most satisfaction in life. Never hesitate to get together with friends; statistics show you'll likely live longer and be happier if you do!
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